Comedy Hour - 3 Abduls of Selangor !

I've been in a fit of cramping laughter reading the article from Malaysiakini by Hazlan Zakaria and my buddy Salhan K Ahmad. If this is the best UMNO can offer to "take back" Malaysia's richest state then I have to offer them my deepest condolence. 3 of UMNO's over-weight 'baggages' to re-capture Selangor !

Hahahaha.......what a joke. Between the 3 of them, that "file shredding" tempe-faced and malighai owner is Mr.Corrupt himself, and he wants to re-capture Selangor for BN ?? And with a nincompoop named Nor plus that power crazed froggie Ezam too ? They cannot even see eye-to eye with each other and they're gonna give-up or make way and promote one of the other to take charge of Selangor ?? There's nothing left in Selangor.....ask that dentist.....he's raped everything already ! Come on Mr. PM Najib, sir.....surely you can do better then this. Surely you can find better men then these 3. Or is there no one else better then these 3 in 1UMNO ! Hahahaha !

Well folks, expect and enjoy reading about the exploits of these 3 Abduls in the next few days as they spin lies after lies without explaining their own misdeeds of their "dirty" past dating back to the time of their Godfather.....Mr. Corruptus Supremo.....the MahaTun himself.

Somebody quickly tell them please, Selangor is now in very good hands and is never going back to BN. Period !!! The rakyat of Selangor are not dumb or morons anymore as these 3 think !

So for your entertainment this Tunku's Merdeka Day celebration......enjoy Selangor UMNO deputy chief Nor Omar's (or now as Abdul no. 1) exclusive interview with Malaysiakini at his office on Tuesday......hahahahaha !!!

Below are excerpts from the interview:

What is it like, being the state opposition?

Now that we are the state opposition, we find that it is easy being the opposition. It is actually very easy. We only use our tongue and saliva to talk.

And the trend is, the rakyat likes to hear the opposition speak. When we were the state government, we held talks, no one would attend. But now as an opposition, we hold talks and many would attend.

Will you take on a state seat?

I don't think about all that right now. Now, I only think about taking back Selangor, no more than that.

Who will lead the government if the BN succeeds?

If they say that Ezam should go forward, or someone else other than the three of us, or even an outside person were to come in - it is not a problem because we only want to take back Selangor. So it is no use dreaming about who is going to be MB.

If it is Khir, then it is him. As opposition leader, he too plays an important role.

The fact of the matter is we are committed to capturing Selangor. That is the mandate given to me by Najib. Khir, Ezam, both of them too have their roles to play.

Would you call the Save Selangor campaign a success?

I wouldn't call it a success. I don't want to say it was a success. I say that it is our responsibility to explain all the issues to the people.

How effective has the Save Selangor campaign been?

I do not know how effective it is or if it is not, but I understand that if it has not been effective, then why did the state executive council call the state police chief to explain why he approved the permits for the Save Selangor events.

If the campaign was not effective and did not threaten them, why would they care to ask him that?

At the same time, we see that they too are running a similar campaign. The difference is, in our campaign, hundreds came. They, too, did the same, but only managed to draw a small number.

They say we were not effective, it is all right if they say we were ineffective. I prefer them to say that we did not succeed, that Selangor Umno is weak, that Umno is asleep. I like it like that. Let them talk, but the rakyat can judge.

What about rumours that all is not well between you, Khir and Ezam?

They say that there is a rift between Khir and me. And then they say Ezam is eclipsing me because he is more popular. That is good, I like that. It is their job to say so. Let them try to pit me against Khir or against Ezam. They can do their best, it is not a problem for us.

What is important is that on the ground I, (Noh flanked by Khir and Ezam in photo) Ezam and Khir have the same purpose.

If I really have only my interest at heart, why would I invite Khir to talk in the programme? I would not have invited Ezam to speak. I would have sidelined them like what happened in PAS - Khalid Samad on one side and Hassan Ali on the other.

But look at us. We are together. Whatever we do, we do together. After the Eid (Hari Raya) celebrations, we will go on the road again. We will also invite others who are popular in Selangor.

Is Umno the only BN component campaigning in Selangor?

That's okay, in the second round we will bring others in. This is Umno's trend. We are different. Since the olden days, we rarely campaigned together. MCA will campaign among the Chinese, MIC with the Indians and Umno with the Malays.

In the next round, we will do it. We will ask MIC and MCA who they can send to aid us.

What is your strategy for re-taking Selangor?

I cannot say it out loud. But it is simple in spirit. BN will do all it can to take Selangor back. I said the same to the Federal Village Committees for Development and Safety (JKKKP) in Selangor. Everyone must play their part in re-taking the state.

Ezam has been on the ground almost every night in the Save Selangor campaign. Khir also came. I will play my part when my schedule allows. We will continue to speak and expose Pakatan's problems to the rakyat.

I want them to be prepared. We are prominent leaders from Selangor, yes, we are the young turks who will assail Selangor.

Khir, with his experience in administering the state, will expose the state government's weakness.

As a federal minister, I too will expose them in terms of their dealings with the federal government, like the water issue, the assistance to farmers and how they are blocking us from helping the people.

Ezam and his reformists will expose the lies of Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim and by PKR, because he is the founder of PKR in Selangor. He knows more about the party than the average new member.

This is coordinated assault from every angle. Khir will whip them, I will whip them, and on the issue of Anwar's lies, Ezam will come to the fore.

This is what they fear. It used to be only Khir, but now I am here and Ezam has joined the team. We will hit them from every angle. We are not afraid, if they want to debate us, we are ready for it.

Do you have any plans to counter Pakatan's economic blueprint for Selangor?

How can they rule the state? They can't even address the sand issue. They can't even administer Yayasan Selangor and Unisel. Unisel lost millions. So how can they talk about the economy? It's hogwash. Now they want to talk about an economic plan. What economy?

We will only talk about micro stuff, like sand. They do not know how to administer. All they seem to know is selling more state assets.

The sand is nearly gone, and now I heard that they may be looking to sell off assets of the Yayasan Selangor next...

It's okay, we will let them do their plan. We will wait and see. Because as the state opposition, it is easier for us to inform the rakyat (when it doesn't work). If they are so smart, let them implement it.

What happened to the shadow cabinet that was supposed to monitor the Pakatan state government?

We don't need to monitor. They are already quarrelling among themselves. They stay together only because of power. Like those who are forced into a marriage. A sham marriage, with no certificate. They are co-habitating illegally. They are living together outside the bounds of 'legal' marriage, they can't even register as a party.

But I understand that they will find it difficult to appoint a president - is it Anwar? Is it Nik Aziz? Is it Hadi Awang? Or perhaps Zaid Ibrahim?

Will you seek out PAS' help to capture Selangor?

I don't really want to comment on this. It is actually quite simple. Who loves the Malay race, who wants to see the Muslims prosper will work together with other Malays and Muslims. This is not because of Umno, but because of God's teachings.

PAS will have to re-evaluate its stand on this because we can see that the DAP is clearly anti-Islam and will fight Islam if it is in power... it will do what it can to deny Islam.

Why should the rakyat vote the BN back in?

The rakyat must know that if they want to see Selangor develop, they must make sure the state government is in tune with the federal government. We cannot have the federal government implementing development projects and the state government not cooperating.

ends...

Hahahahaha !!

Ibrahim Ali's decree to kill ?

Everytime this so-called "clean" self-proclaimed mini-mullah opens his trap, shit spews out ! Comparing the incident to Malcolm X's, who for your information my dear moron Ibrahim Ali, Malcolm Little(x) was assassinated in Manhattan's Audubon Ballroom and not in a mosque nor a church and not entirely for political reasons too . ( here )

How can the presence of a non-Muslim in a mosque be regarded as "desecrating" huh ? Doesn't Islam welcome all men and women (without discriminating gender) with open arms like all good religions do ? And in the holy month of Ramadhan too ? If such is the interpretation of the religion ( and mind you, only in Malaysia the interpretation is uniquely and politically maneuvered.) it frightens the crap of all who have a keen interest to embrace it.

So if Ibrahim Ali is not corrupted or is not a racist just as that irrelevant old ex-premier Tun is a saint and a "clean" Muslim, then we can all safely say all in BN are going to heaven and us infidels and in the Opposition are hell-bound, right ?

That is this moron's interpretation and playing the grand inquisitor of who's good and who's bad just for the sake of saying something, anything .... even if he makes a damn fool of himself as usual. And he's actually instigating murder or assassination of the Serdang MP Teo when suggesting Malcolm x in the equation for merely not conforming to Islamic dress code....in fact there was nothing indecent sans the head scarf in her dressing. And who invited her to the mosque ? By Muslims who in the eyes of this moron don't count as "clean" because they are not BN !

How shallow ! And in this holy month too. Where is the compassion ?

Ibrahim Ali's Fatwah ? I say, harsh action must be taken immediately against this prick for inciting racial and religious tensions and dishing out unwarranted decrees amongst the faithfuls and destroying Najib's 1Malaysia for his own frustrated agenda. And also do the same to the Patron of this racist movement, the Maha Firuan.

something for baldies to cheer !

Remember in October 2009 Indonesia's nationalist group Bendera was supposed to have "invaded" Malaysia, armed with bows and arrows, samurai swords and bamboo spikes? Well now this same group has hatched plan B...to catch and shave all Malaysians in Indonesia and then throw them out. Out where ?... I don't know !!! ( here ) and ( here )

Just as Bendera is Indonesian's fast growing populist cult, we have our very own Perkasa ! Civil society on both sides of the Malacca Straits must condemn both respectively ! Both have some similarities when it comes to this "nationalist" and "ketuanan" crap ! But Bendera is one up when it comes to street violence whereas our home-bred Perkasa is only good for carrying out threats to anything "non-malay" and stirring-up racial sentiments. It runs foul and in absolute contrary to Najib's 1Something !

So what do ordinary Malaysian's say about Indonesia's Bendera ? We protest to the highest powers in Indonesia and join hands as 1Malaysia to condemn this provocative and violent group and even advise our neighbours to crack down hard on these extremists, yes ? Our champions of Youths, Khairy even handed over a protest note to the Indonesian Embassy here in KL.

Syabas Malaysians, I say....we need to keep check of such ungrateful rowdies who have forgotten the hundreds if not millions of their relatives who have come over the years here and made their fortunes ( whether legally or illegally) and live vulgarly rich lives too. Some have even been "neutralised" and gone on to become Menteri Besars while others rose from the ranks of gate-keepers !

But the bottom line is, our very own Perkasa is not far from aping their Indonesian cousins and if not checked now or put on a tight and short leash or better still outlawed for good, they'd be shaving the heads of their fellow "pendatangs" soon, save those who are already bald !!

Don't say you've not been warned already, okay ?

Requiem for MIC or the death of posterity !

I've always maintained that the voice of the common people is paramount in nation building and if leaders and wannabe leaders only "listened", could change the course of a nation for the better.

Take for example this retort from a "youth leader" of a now non-existant and irrelevant party;

"Stephen, well, you're not the one making allegations. You're just a believer of unsubstantiated ones. Oh, and I don't think you hold public office."

Classic example of a failure.....someone who thinks in order to have an opinion you'd first have to hold "public office" and in the process not assuming but makes a wild allegation himself ! Typical moronic thinking......and can only be from MIC and BN ! And sure I do not hold "public office'' but I hold "public opinion" !

Sad isn't it ? And this is the path young leaders in BN today have taken just as in the foot-steps of their "Jurassic" peers ! Anyone with an opinion BUT is not on par as in status or "hold public office" must not be entertained and be dismissed as unqualified and irrelevant. And this is the type of thinking that has steered the now irrelevant MIC on the road to doom and will continue to implode if they perceive opinions are only to be disseminated by those holding "public office" and not the ordinary man in the street. Absolutely arrogant and in denial mode and without damage control !

How quickly they forget March 8 2008 ! We the rakyat will again have to remind them in the 13th. GE once and for all because they have failed us and forgot !!

ahh....Malaysia's version of a level playing field !!

Hahaha ! We are surely champs always.....This is how UMNO's Malaysia is, at every level of the government and this is also what Malaysia is demanding the field is to be, for the next World Cup !!

*thank you Phil, for this pic.

eruptions and erections....

It was early in the morning when I was driving along Old Klang Road towards Petaling Jaya in a relatively slow pace, flowing with the traffic-jam......you know..... the idle mind of wicked thoughts that fleetingly makes you focus on nothing in particular ...... when all of a sudden.....my eye caught something stenciled on the walls of the viaduct columns in a distance.......yikesss, I fumbled for my trusted Nikon in my knapsack because there on the wall, screamed my fantasy, my favourite vice ( arrgghh....shucks....I'm allowed one vice, right ?)
I'm a sucker for massages and I'd give an arm and a leg for a massage...literally and I have had an awful lot of massages in my time, Thai massage, Balinese massage, foot massage, oil massage, powder massage, blind massage and a host of un-named massages from any reluctant niece or nephew who is not old enough to protest or argue.......and my body suddenly gets "achy all over" when I meet them.......like you know where I sit on the floor or lay on the couch or anywhere and practically bully them into massaging my head or shoulder or arm but what I now saw before me was like totally "alien" even to me ! Never heard of this "explosive" massage ! And with cell-phone numbers to call too ! Goodie !
okay.....okay....seriously now....these messages/massages are sure sounding "dicey", right ? So it must be shady business, right again ? And vandalising or paintings on the wall is again a big no...no, unless these type of graffiti is "in" and is okay with our boys-in-blue. We have first a free and illegal advertisement painted/stenciled on public property( the viaduct column where it should always say "stick no bills") and promoting surely nothing more then "fully clothed" masseuses pouring sticky and juicy "lava" over a tired body (read like mine ! ) Hey....I'm letting my imagination run.....so come run with me... boy...what have I been missing for so long, huh ?
All this exotic offerings is "happening" on the fringes of Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya and quite close to a large police station too at the Puchong-PJ-KL inter-section ! Wow...great balls of fire, if 1Stop for 1Malaysia is not good enough.......here's your 2Stop Massage !
What should the authorities do now ? Call the listed numbers, morons, no ? Next put a "sting" and go for the "top dog" and not those young kids who're paid a dollar fifty to stick those ads. on public property, in this "bet my last dollar" illegal massage ring. Arrest "Slimshady" and as punishment, give him a pail of white-wash and a brush and make him paint over the advertisements from column to column all along the 3laned road that leads to Krakatoa.

But all this must be done in full view of the public and the media and in a rush hour time of day. Then it will be a lesson for all who de-face our road signages and other pill boxes and like these viaducts too. Can meh ???
That's the day hell will freeze over, folks !

Because......you'd get a cardiac arrest if you knew how big this lucrative and illegal operation's territory is and who's name will be dragged in the net when that can of worms is tipped.....hehehe.....it could be anyone from the protected specie to the privileged ones to some heavy-weights to that "nice gentleman" from your neighbourhood.

In other words......everyone is scratching someone's back and are fully protected from prosecution and, if not the law, is above the law !
In short.....it stinks !

Big-brother is watching you, boy !

Can you read this article ( here ) and if you care to, you'd ask why only these slow paced and almost dead after 7pm cities should benefit when the rest of the country is rocking and rolling with all kinds of crime and criminals. Why not Taiping ? Or Georgetown even ? Or perhaps even Johore Baru, you'd ask, yes ?

I laud the actions of the government for keeping the streets of Putrajaya safe for tax-paying citizens to walk about without fear of being mugged or bags snatched. Yes, kudos to TM for implementing the system and to Putrajaya Holdings to finance the CCTV cameras. But an emergency call can be answered swiftly in a sleepy hollow like Putrajaya, sure, as the traffic is low and the roads are wide and at times almost deserted, yes ?

Putting CCTV cameras at strategic points and at traffic light junctions are what many of us, bloggers have suggested many many times before and for a long time. And in a congested city like Kuala Lumpur is where the "mat rempits" have a gala time terrorising the helpless, knowing very well how "help" will be stuck in traffic jams before they can actually get to the scene of the crime while these "scums" might even happily have returned home with their loot to a dead places like Putrajaya or Cyberjaya, right ?

It was also suggested the entire city side-walks be absolutely out of bounds for motor-bikes and iron-railings be placed between the side-walk and the road shoulder like in Hong Kong, but do they care or listen? Of course not. Why should they ? And why isn't City Hall paying for and installing CCTV cameras or "the all-seeing eye" at those above suggested places instead of wasting money on maintaining horses and mounted enforcers ? Maybe to play cowboys and Indians, huh ?

Maybe next Nilai Memorial Park will be the 3rd. "safe-city" !
As for the picture above go here and read all about another type of "low-life" malady faced daily by our daughters and women-folk in big cities.

earth calling Wee....come in please...over....I repeat.....

"No" to death penalty for child rapists calls Wee ? Of course I agree with our "humane" MP for Wangsa Maju....No....no !....child rapist should not be given the death penalty BECAUSE it is too quick and I have perfected a hundred different ways to torture these mother-fcukers in the most vile and merciless manner before they die slowly.....everyday...25 hours a day, reliving the pain and begging to stop ! ( here )

Just where has Wee been all this while huh ? In lalaland ? I don't agree with Karpal but I am more shocked by Wee's soft approach to such a serious and disgraceful and perverted act. Maybe our honourable MP Wee should go and explain to the parents of that little girl who was raped in the bus ? Wee would be helping to counsel that kid and her parents, perhaps ? Do you know how many rapes occur everyday ? And other crimes like snatch thefts and junkies, too ? Call the police, huh ?

Not until it happens to one near and dear to you, you'd never know how sweet vengeance tastes....but we are a civilised society so we won't go to that extreme or wait for that to happen ! Then again what are our hopelessly corrupted "guardians-in-blue" good for ? Nothing !

Our screwed-up society cannot be educated whilst Wee collects data for studies on the reasons why one becomes a rapist....and while this piece of shit serves his long jail sentence, we feed and clothe him with our tax-payer ringgits, yes ? Get real please, Mr. MP for Wangsa Maju. You know how our police and the entire government machinery works or rather.....don't work, don't you ?

And to add his 2 sens, former MB Toyo is worried what the world thinks of us ! Hello Mr. ex-MB.......the world is reeling in laughter at us for a long time already lah...we are the new world JOKE !

Everything from the Allah issue to the peaceful ISA candle-light vigil stormings by our "boys-in-blue" to our Parliament is a joke lah...but I can understand you for not knowing about that, cos since you were laid-off, you've been too busy labelling the hundreds of light-switches in your huge "malegai", right ? Or is it, busy "tempe-ing" to look like a fairy with star-dust ?

But it looks like I won't have my way with these rapists, so I'd suggest slicing of that "offending prick" to a tiny stub and soak in vinegar for the rest of his pissful life and have his "balls smashed to a pulp".

I'm sorry folks for that crude lingo......cos I get naturally very upset when anyone comes in defence of rapist and snatch thieves. And them we have a stock-pile already in this here country of ours.

Goodnight !

50th. Anniversary of the ISA (1-8-2010)

Again it was the people who won the hearts of many. Some came alone, others in pairs or with their families and saw no crime in lighting 1candle to the dark ages of the ISA. They came to commemorate 50 years of a hideous law that's placed in the hands of a select few to do as they please.
But these people of peace came to demand that primitive law of the ISA be abolished. They did not fear or resist arrest for being there. Theirs was a show of defiance against the corrupt power-that-be and to show their displeasure of a draconian law used loosely to shut-off dissent.

And their only "crime" is for being vocal about a primitive law, modern men have done away with. A law that should have been repealed the day we were given independence from our colonial masters. A law this corrupt government has used a hundred times over and to their advantage, to silence "truth" and implant "fear" in the hearts and minds of those who witness !

....and these are the few of the many that defied the brute force of this government by lighting 1candle....but they were warned and very roughly pushed back from the "padang" to AmCorp Mall in PJ by maybe a hundred more in number of men with batons and shields and fully armed and loaded guns against the 1candle bearing tax-paying vigillers. And they continued to sing the "NegaraKu" while being shoved rudely. (note the time embedded on each picture )

....and then the arrests begins......selective "eagle-eyed" observance of an individual.....then they zoom-in and grab that victim, not politely but like thugs or hyenas going in for the kill....

....here as usual, Bernard taunting a luminous-vested-SB while his superior (right) watches menacingly......POLICE STATE RULES ?

.....and Bernard had to be literally dragged away before they targeted him.....

....another friend, Lee being arrested and with head held high proudly, gave me parting instructions.(click on picture to see the nasty gnash on his fore-head)....obvious signs of police "mis-man-handling" of innocent victims !

.....another still being dragged away to the delight/disgust of photographers having so many subjects to "shoot" away for the day....

.....whoooaa...the "mighty-boys-in-blue" regrouping before another wave of arrests......

...as seen from inside the Mall.....you should have seen the condemning look tourists around the area gave our police. They were shocked to know we had such a brutal and violent police force on unarmed citizens. Someone remarked in passing...."welcome to Zimbabwe".....and they walked on...shaking their heads in disbelieve when told the "crime" reason of the arrests....holding candles !

Haris was not an observer from the Bar Council, yes ? But where were all the PR men of Selangor ?? Negotiating ? No.....I did not see any of the elected from Selangor ! Maybe they thought being at the police station was a "safer" choice ?

I think that's Michelle Kumar (side-profile on the right), and other observers from the Bar Council watching the protesters who were forced into the deeper end of the Mall, and which did not stop the cops from entering and arresting a few more.....

....photographers filing out of the barricade.....

.....and the second round of defiance begins......can you believe it ?..... only in Malaysia a lit candle is considered a dangerous weapon. It's okay to hold an unlit candle, but the minute you light up.....swooosh.....they come down on you like a pack of retarded- jerkers, blow the fire off the candle and you're man-handled roughly and handcuffed before dragging you away, like an arsonist who was about to burn the PM's residence ! Maybe candles too will be a "controlled" item and a permit will be required to sell them, soon ! So watch all those birthday cakes without candles from now on !

...."he's da main mann behind the blitzzzzsss".....but as Bernard remarked later......t'was nice of him to bring along his entire troop to be with the vigillers in "solidarity" !

....herded like cattle into the black maria.....but you must have heard the joyous "inmates" within, singing the national anthem loudly amid chants in unison of repeated "police ganas" and "undur BN" and "undur ISA"...

....and then it was "stand-down" for these boys-in-blue.

Nothing much has changed since we used to meet every Sunday night for the candle-light vigils from late 2008 to early 2009 ( here ). Guess even after 1 year, this BN government has never done any damage-control.....it's business as usual !

Last heard later that night that there were 28 arrests while hundreds gathered with candle in hand in front of the PJ Police station where water canons and more "mighty" men-in-blue stood guard barring all from entering the premises, save their lawyers.

These demonstrations have always fascinated me. How can such peaceful gatherings in the true spirit of unity where all races come together, singing songs, clapping and laughing, be a threat to National Security ?
Maybe the BN government wants us all to be like those Talibans.....where you are banned from cheering or clapping even at a football game, but chants of "Allahu Akbar" is okay but with solemn expressions ?? Really shows how shaky and insecured the BN government of today is, right ?

1Malaysia ???
Sheeeeeesh !!!