How to win a buy-election .

Just three maybe for some, four ingredients are necessary to certainly win a by-election. Let's take a quick tour to success and riches beyond your wildest dreams !

Incidently today is also the Kajang buy-erhhh....by-election !

First it is money, plenty of it. With money you can have a grand display to showcase your pompousness in having large mug-shots on screens and posters of yourself plastered all over town, reminding people that 'you da man' they must vote as you have the power to also buy off macai's or parasites to surround you everywhere you go. An air of importance is invested as paid macai's also double as cameramen and reporters ! Better still if these macai's were the local hoods. They will also have local authorities and enforcement in their payroll. Money buys new paved roads, drainage and public services....and of course the "shady" entertainment, no ? And many more will flock around you with vested interests and big dreams to realise into riches.

Next comes the solid back-up.With an entire legion of unholy people who have in their own time also used this strategy and are now in commanding positions themselves backing you, what can go wrong ? Their 2sen imput in helping you to reach their ranks, even if it is in a "junior" level means you will still count as in numbers. They need each other for back-up. Numbers and in packs makes one powerful, whether for the greater good of the voters or for themselves, who really cares, anyway ?

Then its scandals. Look for juicy shit ( any kind ) and skeletons in the closet of your opponent. For the right price you can have an army of keyboard trolls digging into the dirt of your opponent....even if it is completely fictitious or engineered, because with just days to the by-election your opponent will not have the pleasure to rebut your attacks and precious time will be wasted. A slander charge in court will take a long time, and by then you're comfortably numb and an already elected representative where nobody can touch you then. Remember your solid back-up is there for you, right ?

And the last ingredient is of utmost importance for any candidate in every by-election. The voters. There are voters  who vote out of fear and in the uncertainty of what the future may hold for them. They live ( in their own terms) in a comfort zone and are shit scared to rock the boat. Even if their lives are at times on the outskirts of poverty. Then there are the morons. These idiots will vote for anyone who'd throw scraps their way and promise them the moon and the sun. They will also be quick to influence others around them to think in their shallow and herd mentality way...not that they have any opinion of their own, as they are morons, see ? 

So it comes down to these above recipe that one has to master and muster-on to succeed in pulling off a by-election ! 

One word of cautioned advice to the voters though. 

One should vote for change and with their heads and not their hearts. God knows how fucked-up their miserable lives are on all matters they decided with their hearts in the past and in so many instances.

Shalom and beware the stooges who come bearing gifts !